CRITICAL RESOURCES
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Roxane Gay’s “The Careless Language of Sexual Violence,” in Bad Feminist
Critical Resource Response
Author: T.M.
Word Count: 561
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In Roxane Gay’s “The Careless Language of Sexual Violence,” Gay starts out her essay by introducing an article in the New York Times about a gang rape committed by eighteen men on an eleven-year-old girl in Cleveland, Texas. Gay focuses on how in the article, rape is excused, victims are blamed, and the author's failure to understand the damage of rape and who the real victim in the situation is. She then turns to media examples such as Beverly Hills 90210 and General Hospital and the obvious Law & Order: SVU episodes that deal with rape and talked about the representation and discussion of rape being handled carelessly in media TV shows. I believe Gay’s emphasis on how rape is seen and talked of fictionally takes away from the seriousness she tried to emphasize at first. In the end, Gay’s essay mimicked the New York Times article by taking away from the reality of rape, which the media will never be able to get right.
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Gay’s criticism of the New York Times article and it’s author starts with the title, “Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town” and extends to the article’s focus being on the effect this event had on the town and the lives of the men who raped the eleven-year-old, the questioning of where her mother was and what clothes the eleven-year-old was wearing in attempts to victim blame. Gay’s frustration and anger are completely understandable and justifiable. After this example, the bulk of her argument using media examples can be summed up in the quote, “The casual way in which we deal with rape may begin and end with television and movies where we are inundated with images of sexual and domestic violence”. This seems like an easy and traditional scapegoat for an issue so serious and complex.
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Gay tries to put the blame of our society’s immunity and permissiveness of rape on the entertainment industry and the viewers who are making rape episodes the most popular and thus encouraging rape to be used as “entertainment fodder”. She even admits to watching Law & Order: SVU religiously and questions “what that says about me”. However, it is not the entertainment industry, or it is viewers, who are to blame for our society’s perceptive and treatment of rape, its perpetrators, or its victims. The entertainment industry’s job is to entertain, most of the time for just an episode, so wanting a graphic description, no commercials, and an episode long-enough, while being entertaining, about the realities, impact, and meaning of rape is unrealistic.
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What Gay failed to understand is you can not place the weight of understanding the reality of rape on just one media source and the entertainment industry in general. Each will always fall short of showing, talking, and writing about it in a way that is authentic but not exploitative, entertaining but not culturally numbing, and graphic enough to understand the gravity of rape while making sure we are not immune to its horrors. What Gay tries to highlight in the end of the essay still holds true, “these are difficult topics where we need to be vigilant not only in what we say but also in how we express ourselves”. So, a good rule of thumb when sharing or creating something that deals with rape is that it is most important to speak, write, and talk carefully.
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"Intimate Partner Violence on College Campuses"- Critical resource
Intimate partner violence is becoming an increasing concern on college campuses. In the article “Intimate Partner Violence on College Campuses”, it states that “about one-third, or 32% of colleges students, in other words, 20-25% overall during their college career, will have experienced sexual assault, dating violence and or stalking”. I will argue that the role of alcohol and peer groups play a significant factor in intimate partner violence on college campuses.
Due to college years being a peak time of drinking for young adults, alcohol plays a huge factor in partner violence on college campuses. It is common for a partner to act irrationally and forceful when intoxicated. Alcohol affects cognitive and physical function, which reduces self-control and leaves an individual to be less capable to negotiate a non-violent resolution within relationships. In the article it states how “research proves that intoxicated individuals enact greater aggression toward partners than do sober participants.” Certain situations will trigger an individual more when intoxicated. According to a University in Colorado, “most of the reported situations dealing with violence were a result of drinking”. For this to be avoided, it is important for individuals to drink responsibly, and to be aware that having too much alcohol can result in poor judgement.
College is a prime time of being around new people and making new friends. But the influence a peer group can have on an individual is huge and can lead to good or bad decisions. In the article it states that, “normative perceptions of peer behavior have a significant impact on students’ personal habits”. Peers can have a substantial impact on the situations an individual is in and how they react to them. This can influence how an individual interacts with their partner, when alone or in a group.
Although intimate partner violence is an increasing concern on college campuses, there are many intervention and prevention programs on campuses across the U.S. to help aid and support victims of intimate partner violence. This programs teach participants how to play preventions and intervention roles when they observe risky situations. It also can teach students how to sustain healthy behaviors between partners. It is important to be aware of risk factors that can play a role in relationships.
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Author: M.B.
Word count: 373
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"How to Sell Your Rape Story"- critical response
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Rape isn’t just something that happens to you, but also something you have to sell to other people. In the article “How to Sell Your Rape Story” by Lacy Crawford, Crawford lists rules on how to make your rape story special. In this essay, I will argue for Crawford’s statements that people need to start focusing on all rape stories, realizing that even those women considered not special are vunerable to rape, and not putting a stigma on rape victims after their rape.
When people think of rape stories, most think of those invloving celebrities or reported on the news. People think of the stories that do not sound like other rape stories. Most rape stories reported and put in news, on social media, or talked about are “either horrible” or “gilded” rapes. The rapes are those that are unique, such as if it includes a famous person. Not many people pay attention to the rapes that are considered normal, such as those that happen outside of a bar. It is important for people to start focusing on all rapes so that people can see how many really happen.
Another point that Crawford makes that I agree with is that many people need to realize that there are rapes that are not considered unique. That most rapes are what people think as normal and only a couple of unique rapes happen. Many people need to start to also relaize that rape does not happen to just a certain type of woman. Many people think “Don’t complain. You are white/cis/lucky” and that only women who put themsleves in vulnerable positions get raped. There are all different types of women getting raped whether they be white, black, hispanic, single, or married.
After a rape, many people are changed as are the people surrounding them. Everyone should be affected by the rising number of rapes and sexual assault happening in the United States. We have gotten to the point where rapes happen everyday. Crawford states “If a few people contract an illness, we call it an orphan disease. If lots of people do, we call that a pandemic” which explains how we as a society should respond to rape. Rape is a pandemic that needs to be eradicted.
Rape is something that should no longer be stigmatized and thought of as a specfic way. It is time for people to open their minds to all the way that rape occurs and to put a stop to it. If rape continues it will show those who rape that their are no real consequences to thier actions. They will continue to rape and the amount that happens everyday will continue to increase.
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Author: G.H.
Word count: 449
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/06/opinion/lacy-crawford-memoir-rape.html?searchResultPosition=5
"The Spectacle of Broken Men" from Roxane Gay's, Bad Feminist
Critical Resource Response
Author: K.B.
Word Count: 465
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Our culture is very reered towards the aim of pleasing those who have a spotlight. Roxanne Gay tells us, “We live in a culture where athletes are revered, and overlooking terrible, criminal behavior is the price we are seemingly willing to pay for our reverence.” Too often, athletes and those in authority commit sexual acts of violence and get away with it. It is something that has to come to an end because it is pure evil. There are too many times where athletes and celebrities have gotten away with sexual abuse and this should never be the case. The victims of sexual abuse do not deserve this, this mistreatment has to stop. These victims suffer lifetime distress from these acts of violence, it is not a simple fix or a simple “brush it under the rug” type of crime.
Gay begins the chapter with telling us about Lawrence Phillips, “Lawrence Phillips was probably the hottest mess on that team, always getting in trouble for one thing or another. His crimes, more than once, involved violence against women, but he was such a fine runningback and that matters more than the woman’s face he threatened to break.” Hearing this statement brings anger to me, I cannot imagine just dismissing someone’s crimes because of who they are. She also tells us about the coach, Tom Osborne, “The media would halfheartedly question Osborne about these “thugs,” and he’d talk about how he was able to see the good in flawed men. More often than not, these players were forgiven for drug and alcohol infractions and assault and rape allegations because they could move a football down the field. They could fill Memorial Stadium week after week. They could take our team to the championship game, over and over.” Just because someone can do so many great things, does not mean you should dismiss what they have done.
Women and men are both victims of this evil crime called sexual abuse. We are a broken world that experiences so many different feelings, emotions, and experiences. No matter how broken you are, you do not deserve any slack for what you have done. It angers me that people allow these crimes to just be “brushed under the rug.” It truly breaks people down and leaves them with lifelong distress. Roxane Gay tells us, “Alongside these broken men are the women who all too often become broken too.” Both women and men are broken from this crime, no one gender is the only victim, it occurs to both genders. I think that we, as a nation, have got to get better and punish people for what they have done even though they may have a top tier status. It is too serious of a situation to be handled so light-heartedly.
"Men, own your role in domestic violence" - critical resource
Imagine having your family ripped away from you all in one night. Christian Raniey’s mother and siblings were tragically killed due to domestic violence. In the TedTalk “Men, own your role in domestic violence”, Rainey speaks of his personal experience with domestic violence, and how he used that to find his purpose of helping others. He explains how gender roles contribute to domestic violence, how we need to change the narrative, and how he educates others on this topic. In this essay I explain how important preventative measures are when it comes to domestic violence by age-appropriate proactive education and leading those younger than us by example, but how reactive measures help significantly as well.
Rainey teaches thousands of kids about good and bad behaviors in any type of relationship; platonically, romantically, or within their family. This helps them distinguish the healthy and unhealthy behaviors in relationships. He said after one session of educating students a girl went to her boyfriend and explained, “‘Some of the things that we are experiencing in our relationship is considered dating violence, in power and control’ [...] ‘If these things do not change, we can not date any longer’” (Rainey). This shows how teaching them these signs early can help prevent domestic violence from forming in relationships, especially if they don’t get a good example at home.
When talking about leading by example, Rainey explains that, “85% of kids who experienced domestic violence in the home,either become the abuser, or they become abused.” These behaviors are learned, so it is our jobs to break the cycle in order to show children examples of healthy relationships and if not, hopefully educational sessions like Rainey’s will help them understand what is right and wrong.
Although I agree that one of the best ways to decrease domestic violence is preventative education organizations, I don’t agree with Rainey dismissing the importance of reactive organizations. “We don’t always have to be reactive to save lives[...] a lot of organizations out there are reactive to domestic violence” (Rainey). He goes on to say his way of being proactive in preventing it is what really helps save lives the most. There are valid points on both sides of the argument, but organizations that help get victims back on their feet after what they experienced, can be what helps save their lives in order to move forward.
Through his own tragic experience with domestic violence, Rainey knew his purpose was to prevent it from happening to others. In his TedTalk one of the points that stuck out to me was how important preventative measures are. Rainey does this by using age-appropriate proactive education and telling his audience to lead those younger than us by example. However, he also dismisses reactive measures which are significant as well. These measures should be taken by everyone in order to create a society that understands the importance of healthy relationships, so no one else has to become a victim.
Author: A.R
Word count: 493
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critical resource
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"Take your power back!" TEDx by Trish Hoffman
Critical Resource Response
Trish Hoffman, speaker of the “Take Your Power Back!” TedTalk, had her whole life planned out, but had it ripped away because of a man. After breaking up with her clingy boyfriend, Hoffman experienced obsessive stalking and harassment for years until she finally had to be escorted out of the state for her own safety. Thankfully she decided to use her experience to advise others that may go through this as well. Victims of domestic abuse can take their power back by breaking the silence and taking self defense classes, but it is not always that easy to leave.
Hoffman explains that the best way for someone to be proactive towards their own safety is to “Take your fear and trauma and turn it into confidence and empowerment.” This means breaking the silence on domestic abuse and starting the conversation with friends and family about putting a plan in place. Hoffman says that this way you are being “proactive towards your personal safety, not reactive” in order to be prepared when someone finds themselves in that unfortunate situation.
Another way Hoffman suggests taking your power back is to, “take a class, watch a video, get the information somewhere somehow by someone.” She started Women Against Crime, a self defense class, in order to help individuals feel confident in relying on themselves in these scary situations. She said that even after just a few sessions of training individuals feel, look, and act more confident in themselves and their abilities.
Although Hoffman’s advice for victims to no longer stay victims is helpful, it is easier said than done in many cases. Throughout this TedTalk Hoffman explains that “you set the stage by the way you walk” and “that you are very capable” of protecting yourself. During the whole video Hoffman exuded a lot of confidence, and did not really explain how fearful she was in her experience. This perspective might make victims feel bad for not trying to leave, or being too scared to try. When in actuality, “The most lethal time in an abusive relationship is after a victim leaves. More than 70% of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has gotten out” (STAND!). Sometimes you have to rely on the help of others, and that should not make anyone feel shameful. The most important aspect is getting someone to safety and out of the abusive situation, no matter how it is done or how long it takes.
In summary Trish Hoffman says if people who are in/were in an abusive situation can change their perspective, have a plan of action, and exude confidence, they will not have to stay a victim. However, it is not always that easy to leave, especially when you are trying to do it on your own. Her advice is not only important for our group’s research, but also to any friend or family member who finds themselves in an abusive situation.
Word Count: 498
Author: A.R.
Source:
https://www.ted.com/talks/trish_hoffman_take_your_power_back/up-next
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"Unmasking The Abuser" TEDx by Dina McMillan
Critical Resource Response
It is easy to spot the typical dating red flags like someone staring at their phone on a date but red flags for abusive tendencies tend to be harder to recognize. Dr. Dina McMillion, a social psychologist, and author says in her TEDx Talk, “Unmasking the Abuser” that not only is abusive behavior intentional, but it also is specific and consistent and thus avoidable if one can recognize the signs or red flags. This was found through her numerous confidential studies with abusers that revealed specific behaviors used at the start of every relationship to lure victims in and gain control. This piece focuses on the argument that abusers act intentionally because of three reasons; the tactics used by them are universal, form a pattern, and are consistent with each relationship and person, it is because of this that the argument can be made that abusive relationships can be avoidable.
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The first reason that supports the argument of abuse as an intentional act is that the tactics and resulting behaviors are universal. Dr. McMillion states that the reason these tactics are universal is that the objective of power-based personal violence, “to gain and maintain absolute control” is also universal. While men make up 95% of the abusers Dr. McMillion talked to, it is important to note that these behaviors are evident in female abusers as well and go beyond specific demographics. `
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The tactics used by abusers form patterns even orderly ones. At the start of every abusive relationship studied, grooming was used to lure partners in and gain control. Dr. McMillion uses the phrase, “Too much, too soon, and transforming” to describe the process of psychological manipulation used. While examples of this behavior were the phrase “you and me against the world”, it should have been clarified that the focus is not on what is said but the intention behind it. Most of these behaviors are used to isolate the partner from other relationships.
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The tactics used are consistent because the viewpoint of the abuser is unchanging, no matter the relationship or person. The abuser views their partner as an object and Dr. McMillion discovered that abusers, “…knew their relationships were twisted and dysfunctional and hugely unfair to their partners” and still they felt no guilt, empathy, compassion, or accountability only entitlement to a relationship that works in their favor.
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The reason that it can be confidently said that abusive behavior is intentional is due to the fact its tactics are universal, patterned, and consistent. Because abusive behavior has these qualities of intention, it is predictable but knowing this knowledge is not enough to completely stop power-based interpersonal violence from occurring. Further information besides the how and the why is needed to protect and empower women but McMillion’s work is an important first step.
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Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ythOTBEkUZM
Author: T.M.
Word Count: 482
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"Domestic abuse: not a gender issue" TEDx by Andrew Pain
Critical Resource Response
On the surface, it may seem outlandish that a woman would ever strike a man. Andrew Pain, a domestic abuse survivor, talks about in his TEDx talk, “Domestic abuse: not a gender issue”, the wider struggle faced by male survivors of domestic abuse and shares his own person experience. Society usually assumes that women and children are the main victims of domestic abuse, and that men are the perpetrators, but that’s not always the situation. In this essay, I will argue that the common misconception about who domestic violence affects is harmful to men, abusers use many different methods of abuse to control their victims, and that the ability to “just leave” is rarely that simple.
A common misconception in society is that domestic abuse only happens from a man towards a woman, which is not the case. Andrew Pain states how “in the UK last year, of the 2 million reported cases of domestic abuse, one-third involved men as victims.” These statistics highlight how prevalent domestic abuse is and how this is a human problem and not a problem between the sexes. This statistic only shows the reported cases. A lot of men will not willingly admit to being abused by another person because of it possibly showing weakness and feeling like it was their fault.
There are many types of abuse and a variety of methods employed by the abusers to carry it out. In Andrew’s situation, his wife would talk about “suicide, about her childhood allegedly full of abuse, and about her many illnesses”, which made Andrew lose sight of the actual violence and feel like her caregiver. These excuses for the abuse seemed like rationalizations but were actually just a variety of methods his wife used to make the violence seem okay. Regardless of what tool the abusers use, they are all aimed in order to prevent the victim from being able to escape the abuse.
Many people looking at domestic abuse from the outside see it very black and white and do not understand why the victims do not leave, when there are a lot of factors that make it very difficult to escape. Andrew talks about how his wife “manipulated my relationships, particularly those with my close family and friends, in order to isolate me from any possible wake-up call.” Many abusers take away the victim’s support system, preventing them from realizing the situation they’re truly in. In addition, there are often extenuating factors that prevent the victim from leaving, such as children, and a variety of excuses provided by the abuser, such as mental health issues.
Throughout the TEDx talk, it is very apparent that when talking about domestic abuse, that it is not a problem that only women face, the abusers use a plethora of mechanisms, and that circumstances can make the abuse very hard to escape. It is important to realize the true situation of domestic abuse and how complex the situation really is.
Source: https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_pain_domestic_abuse_not_a_gender_issue
Author: M.B.
Word Count: 493
Prison may not be the cure-all for the complex issues behind the #MeToo movement and unhealed victims. The #MeToo movement advocates for survivors of sexual harassment or violence to speak out. With the spotlight held on the #MeToo movement, people are taking sexual misconduct way more seriously. Prosecution and incarceration have been the focus of resolving these issues, leaving victims retraumatized and disempowered. In this essay, I will argue that restorative justice helps heal victims and offenders, empower victims, and prevent future assaults. I agree with the authors’ claim that a victims' pain is not always healed by prosecuting the offender to the maximum extent.
Through several testimonials, victims are seeking restorative justice for healing for them and their offender. The solution to sexual assault cases is not achieving with the #MeToo mission: “#MeToo rightly emphasizes victim’s healing and accountability for the people who harmed them. All too often, the prosecutorial route achieves neither.” The prosecutorial route focuses on punishment instead of restoration.
Prosecution and incarceration have been the focus of resolving these issues, leaving victims retraumatized and disempowered. Restorative justice allows victims to take the power back: “Many victims report that their experience was retraumatizing and disempowering: Their story was confined to the rigid strictures of a prosecutor’s narrative and raked over on cross-examination.” The current scrutiny associated with these cases results in victims feeling disempowered. It is much more powerful when an offender has to come face-to-face with their actions
The prevention of future assaults is a positive that can come out of these situations. Just like addicts go through rehab, restorative justice can provide that same healing for offenders: “Restorative justice, a remedy intended to heal victims and prevent reoffending through accountability and restoration — not incarceration.” The offender is able to take responsibility and express remorse for their actions; therefore, preventing future assaults.
Healing can be found for both the victim and offender in other ways besides prosecuting the offender to the maximum extent. The #MeToo movement can fulfill its mission of healing and accountability through restorative justice. Victims can take the power back from their offenders by having their offenders face their actions. Sexual assaults can be prevented through restorative justice and programs. The United States needs more restorative programs. There needs to be a balance between healing and accountability.
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Author: G.K.
Word Count: 385
"#MeToo Doesn’t Always Have to Mean Prison"
by Lara Bazelon and Aya Gruber Critical Response
One in three women experience domestic violence. Lesley Morgan speaks on her personal experience with Domestic Violence in a Ted Talk titled, “Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave.” The main point Lesley Morgan was emphasizing was to speak up about domestic violence and not let it go unnoticed. While some people believe that it is the victim's fault they stayed, by breaking the silence of domestic violence, identifying the stages, and getting rid of the stereotypes, we can bring light to those who are victimized.
The stigma of domestic violence is one that is hindering victims from being aided and from being heard. Lesley Morgan clearly emphasized the importance of understanding what domestic violence is and how it affects people, along with, bringing light to the subject of domestic violence. Lesley, herself, is a survivor of domestic abuse, she said she was a “very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man.” She knew she needed to get out of the relationship but she just did not know how. Educating people on how to get out of these relationships, as well as, educating bystanders on how to recognize signs of power based interpersonal violence in their friends and family is extremely vital.
Learning the stages of domestic violence is important because it is a tactic in educating yourself and aiding victims. Lesley Morgan identifies the stages, the “first stage is seducing and charming, the second stage is isolating the victim, and the third stage is introducing the threat of violence.” Aggressors start by seducing their victim, usually that leads to a relationship. They then isolate the victim, Morgan said her aggressor did this by moving them away from their family and friends , thereby isolating her. Lastly, the aggressor introduces threat, this can be in many different forms. In Morgan’s case, her aggressor randomly started carrying a gun around until it eventually led to him putting a gun up to Morgan’s head. It is so common to not know you are in a dangerous relationship, learning what these stages are is so important.
Many times people stereotype victims by saying things like, “it’s their fault they stayed,” which is one example Morgan gave us. These relationships are extremely dangerous, they are dangerous to be in and dangerous to leave. Aggressors usually are manipulating their victims and threatening to seriously hurt them if they seek help or try to leave. Stereotyping these victims with saying like, “it’s their fault” and “they could have said something” is not at all helping them because these relationships are so much deeper than anyone could imagine.
Shining a light on domestic violence is something we have to do, we have to speak up and allow victims to get their voice back. This can be accomplished by breaking the silence, identifying the stages, and getting rid of the stereotypes. I believe we need to give back voices to those who have been victimized and shine a light by speaking up and understanding domestic violence.
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Source: https://www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave
Author: K.B.
Word Count: 498
"Why Domestic Violence Victims Don't Leave" by Lesley Morgan Critical Resource Response
"Violence against women- it's a men's issue" by Jackson Katz Critical Resource Response
Sexual assault is not just a women’s issue, but also a man’s issue. In the TED Talk “Violence against women-it’s a men’s issue” by Jackson Katz, Katz asserts men need to understand that violence is not only a woman’s problem, but also a man’s problem. In this essay, I will argue that men need to start paying attention to gender issues, focus on not victim-blaming, and to not judge the women who speak up about their abuse.
People tend to tune out anything that does not include them, even men. When some men hear the words “women’s issue” or even “gender issues,” they stop listening as it’s not a “men’s issue.” Men do not think that “gender issues is synonymous with women’s issues” leading them to not pay attention. Even though gender includes all genders, some men tend to think of women. When most people hear the word race, many tend to think of African Americans or Latino. Katz refutes this by saying “as if white people don’t have some sort of racial identity” to highlight how the dominant group of each issue never gets paid attention to. This makes it easier for men to be erased from the conversation of sexual assault, even though it is largely centered around them.
Keeping the attention off of the men centers it onto the women who have been abused. Some men tend to blame the abused women instead of trying to help women and prevent the abuse from happening. Katz explains how “our whole cognitive structure is set up to blame victims” by asking the wrong questions. Some ask what the woman was wearing, why they go out with men like who abuse, why they are attracted to men like that and so on. The correct questions that should be asked are why he abused her, why is this still a huge problem, why do so many men abuse women. The world views it as why the individuals do it when it should be viewed as a “systematic social problem” that everyone needs to pay attention to. Once the world views this as a systematic social problem, it can start changing its belief system.
Victim blaming leads to victims not speaking out about their experiences. Usually when women speak out about these issues, some men make fun of them and make hateful comments. Katz asserts this is a way for these men to tell the women “sit down and shut up, keep the current system” so the power is not challenged. Men dislike being challenged, but it has to be done to change the system.They need to start speaking up about the issues.
Men need to start paying attention to the issues that do involve them, even if it doesn’t sound like it. This will help them to not judge the women who speak out or blame them. If they don’t, the world will never change, and sexual abuse will continue to happen.
GH
Word Count: 492